Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
