two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
