Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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