There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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