So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
