sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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