In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Don't make out with my wife yet
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
