My hand turned me down
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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