May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
