We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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