why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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