i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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