Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
