I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
and i looked up. we had an audience...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize