i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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