Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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