yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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