What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
