A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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