Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
