Where is the hickey?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
