shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
