I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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