I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
