you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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