if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how do flat chested girls get laid?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
