There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
did you just send me my own nude
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
