I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
