Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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