All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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