And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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