were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
