life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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