Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
