i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i dont even know how to be here
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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