Betty ford says i'm here all night
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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