I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
