are you still at the devil's house?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
