Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
