Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
