conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
