just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
