3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
