so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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