The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
