I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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