i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
