I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
being pregnant is like rehab
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
please don't ironically join a cult
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