I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize