i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
