Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
