Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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