just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
