Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
