Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
