she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize