Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
