i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
