So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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