ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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