Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
